Saturday, September 28, 2013

To my son; UPDATED

UPDATE:
On Thursday I posted the letter below this to my son Connor. He is amazing. He did amazing things.

And then, the universe returned the favor.

As Connor was headed to school on Friday we chatted about all the possible things that could happen. It could be never spoken of again; it could be that he may still get teased now that things were out in the open; it could be a conversation starter.

Even better happened.

Connor's new school friend (who sounds like an amazing young man I cannot wait to meet!) decided to look Connor up on Google. (Thank God for the 21st century!) What he found were some of Connor's dance videos. Namely he found Connor dancing in "Colorblind" from the Diva Dance Competition. Connor's friend was blown away. He was so impressed and was talking with Connor about how brave Connor was to be up on "such a big stage".

I could not have predicted a better ending. I am so happy for Connor and so proud of his new friend.
The original letter is below.


Dear Connor,
I need you to know how proud I am of you. I know, I know, I tell you this a lot. But I need for you to know how true it is. Today you were braver than I could have ever been at your age. Today you didn't plan on being brave. In fact, today you started by not being brave. You tried to fade away, and you tried to pretend you were something other than who you are. When you heard the possibility of someone judging your choices,  your passion, your love....  when you heard those words "that's for girls" you didn't speak up. You didn't clarify, and you didn't come clean.

I get it. You're eleven. You're brand new to this town. Also, you're human. You did what comes easy. You avoided a confrontation. But then this ate at you all day. When you came home you were miserable.

Please don't ever deny who you are. Never ever ever. You are better than that and you can be stronger than that.

I told you this. And you believed me.

And then

You called your classmate. You spoke to him on the phone. You admitted you had not been honest, and you let him know that you are a ballet dancer and that you love it.

And.....

It was fine. You chatted for a minute and you smiled. And you exhaled. And I exhaled.

Your face when you hung up that phone was amazing. You were proud of yourself.

You can do this. You can be strong and brave and amazing. You have chosen a challenging path. Don't deny it. Walk your path with your head held high and your toes pointed.

You can do this.

I am behind you all the way. I am always in the crowd and will always be cheering for you. You made me prouder tonight than anyone I have ever met. I am honored to be your mother.

I love you,
Mom

1 comment:

Chris Evans said...

Heather-
As I was reading your letter tears were streaming down my face. I was thinking of my brother and so many others who were too afraid to speak up. Your loving support and tender words will allow your son to be the wonderful person he is meant to be. You have given him such a gift- you have no idea!
And bravo to his new friend. You are an amazing mother. No wonder your kids turned to so well!
Best-
Chris Evans