Tuesday, March 19, 2013

"No means no!" (And that means you)

I'll admit it; I only half pay attention to the news. Okay, less than half. I have four kids to care for and a full time job. I don't need my only spare time filled with sad news.

However, the recent news from Steubenville Ohio has caught everyone's eye. The entire case is riddled with issues. Enough issues that enough people are dealing with that I don't need to talk about them here. I do have feelings about this of course, but this blog is for me to talk about (brag about) my children. I don't need to spend that time telling you how you should feel about the news.

However, this affects my children, and that is something you need to be aware of.

Please; if you begin to hug my children or touch my children in some way, and they ask you to stop;


If you ask my children for a hug and they say "no"

It means NO.

Even if you ask my children if they want something to eat and they say "no"


My children are the keepers of their own bodies. They know what they are comfortable with, and they know what they don't want to feel. It is up to you to respect that. It is up to you to teach my children that their words have power, and that you respect them and love them enough to honor their choices, as the champions of their own bodies.

In addition, it is important for all of my children to realize and hear and understand that when someone says "no" , it means "no". It doesn't mean "Are you sure? Please? Don't you love your great aunt Suzy?". It doesn't mean making deals or begging or pleading. You can model that for my son. Help him learn as he navigates the scary world of his sexual feelings, that when someone says "no" that is the final word.Navigate that for my daughters that when they say "no" they can stick to it. They don't need to compromise what they believe is right in order to feel like they are showing someone love or affection.

There will be no teaching my children that love and affection requires we convince others to do what we feel is right. Love and affection instead means that we listen.

Listening is hard.

Help me teach my children that it's the right thing to do.