For real?

I asked the kids this afternoon; "Kids, why does it smell like nail polish?" (Because I always calmly address my children with 'kids')
Connor answered. (As the oldest, I suppose it was his duty to answer). "Oh, Siobhan wanted some, so I opened it for her."

...

Let's review here:
Siobhan is 2 and 1/2
Connor is 9.
Of the two of these, who do you think would have known not to open the nail polish? Apparently, neither of them.

I thought this stuff only happened in sitcoms.
Am I the only one living an insane life like this?
Never-mind, don't answer that.

Reality? Fantasy? It's all such a blur...

I heard the following exchange this afternoon:

Aisling: "Mommy, Connor bit me".

Me: "Connor, did you bite her?"

Connor: "Yes, but only by accident".

Me: "... By accident?"

Connor: "Yeah, my mouth was just closing and her hand was in the way".

I thought those conversations only happened in sitcoms....